Winter Challenge - Week 1

On Sunday, my ForecastFox plug-in said it was 3 degrees outside. I thought to myself 'wow, this would be a great morning for disc golf.' That might be because I'm determined, or because I'm an idiot...but this determined idiot managed to make it out to Sunny Hill Disc Golf Course in Streamwood. Once there, I accomplished the following:

1. Did not lose any discs.
2. Did not die.

Therefore, I must label the initial leg of the 2008 Winter Challenge a success! I really set myself up for success, as I knew it would be difficult to lose a disc in a course as open as this. The course, however, was just as busy as it was when I played it in the fall.

Okay, so that's not very busy. Really, I'm glad it wasn't. While I didn't lose a disc, I certainly came close three times. The worst was on the second hole. I thought I got a good look at where the disc went, but I totally lost it. I walked around for maybe ten minutes while some dumb, fenced-in dog barked at me. When I finally gave up, I found the disc walking toward the next hole. The third was not so kind, either - the disc was buried in the snow behind someone's house, but I found it with greater ease.

The terrain wasn't too bad - some areas were easy to walk on, but there were also some places where the snow was unnecessarily deep. Like, maybe where I fell face-first on the second. There was maybe two feet of snow on top of these large rocks - now why in the hell are there rocks at some park? That could seriously injure someone, or more specifically, some moron playing disc golf in the winter.

But actually, it was not all that bad playing in the cold. I am stocked up with all of my winter gear: thermals, waterproof boots, wool socks, Hot Hands hand-warmers, hoodie, the Chicago Bears windbreaker that I got with my new Sports Illustrated subscription, and some awesomely weird scarf/mask/hood hybrid my wife got me for my birthday. With all of that great stuff, I was able to stay properly warm. I also kept a single glove on my left hand, and between throws, I would keep my right hand in my pocket with the hand-warmer. I could not have been much better protected from the elements.

In all, I enjoyed the first day of the Winter Challenge. Maybe the next course will have tee markers that aren't totally covered by Vince Palumbo's constant lying about his aces. Give it up, Vince - there's no way you aced all nine holes at least three or four times. You should spend more time practicing and spend less time being a big fat liar.

For winter disc golf, Sunny Hill in Streamwood, Illinois is...recommended!

The Winter Challenge

This just in: the winter might not be the best time for disc golf.

Yeah, no kidding. It also doesn't help when you start a disc golf blog in the late fall. However, there are certain ways around issues like this. And thus, the winter challenge is born.

For 13 weeks, beginning with this week, I strive to play one round of disc golf every week. I have done extensive research, determining which courses are open for the winter in northern Illinois. Thankfully, most courses seem to be open at this time of the year. One nice, yet, uninformed lady with the Buffalo Grove Park District informed me that the baskets are removed from their two courses, however, the courses are still open for rounds of disc golf. Somebody needs to get Kristy Vik, Director of Facilities and Programs, out on a disc golf course so she can figure out how this works.

It will certainly be difficult to play more wooded courses, however, I certainly have a few in mind that would be good for winter disc golf. Randall Oaks in West Dundee, Prairie Park in DeKalb, and Sunny Hill in Streamwood are three good examples of this. The main goals will be don't lose a disc and don't die, and those are definitely listed in order of importance. I think that I have hedged my bets against death, as I've aquired the finest in moderately/cheaply priced winter gear. There should be no way an ounce of water touches my skin (save for some kind of incident involving thin ice). Losing a disc, however, might be more problematic.

Many questions remain unanswered: what kind of awesome guests will join me? How will these discs act in the cold air? Will brining a shovel to clear tee-pads make me a point of ridicule? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? These next 13 weeks will be arduous and likely death-defying, but there's one thing I can be almost certain of...

It will be cold: very, very cold.

Look What We Found - Dekalb, IL

What is this? Is it a rodent? Weasel? Marsupial? Let us know!

Sunny Hill Park & Shady Oaks Park - Streamwood, IL

Streamwood is a pit.

Okay, that might be a bit unfair to pits. Seriously, though...when I think of disc golf meccas, I do not think of Streamwood. I wouldn't have thought that before playing disc golf in Streamwood, and I certainly wouldn't think of that after having played there. Streamwood has two courses: Sunny Hill Park, a cute little nine-hole, and Shady Oaks, an old behemoth of an 18-hole course.

A few weeks back, I played them both in a single day. I will apologize for the lack of pictures, but please understand that you aren't missing much. Sunny Hill is located in a kind of park district complex just off Irving Park Road, about a half mile west of Illinois Route 59. The first tee was kinda hard to find, but it didn't take a hole lot of looking. All holes are well marked with blue posts coming from the ground, displaying a sign with brief hole details. Dirt tees are a bit inconvenient, but oh well.

The holes themselves were pretty fair. Nothing special, but nothing awful either. The park has some decent elevation changes, so it seems like Sunny Hill was a good park to put a course at. Not extremely wooded, but what trees they do have provide at least some moderate obstacles. Not a ton of variety, as a lot of these holes felt the same. The terrain was iffy, and there were too many geese. It was like an angry goose army, and I felt a lot of resentment when my shot on the second hole forced them to disperse.

The course flowed fairly well. Some holes required a bit of backtracking, but it's understandable. I went on a Saturday morning with absolutely nobody else on the course and found my way fine (save for I think hole 7. I read the sign wrong on that one). The only thing that might get in the way of your game is foot traffic for walkers/joggers. I applaud the people of Streamwood for placing this course in the middle of a park quite expertly. The course doesn't interfere with any of the park or the tennis courts, which I don't see enough of.

On the hole, this was a plesant, relaxing, quaint disc golf experience. The course is fairly well maintained and did not sway me too much either way. Not great, but definitely not bad. I don't like courses near houses, that's for sure. I had an errant shot go into someone's unfenced backyard, and that was just too close for comfort. I also had an encounter with a tennis player:

Tennis Player: What's that you've got there?
Me: A disc...for disc golf.
Him: ....
Me: Frisbee golf...you know, where you throw frisbees into metal baskets like that (while pointing at a basket).
Him: ....How do you do it?
Me: You just throw the disc toward the basket and make it in as few shots as you can, like golf.
Him: It looks like it's hard to get it in the basket. You'd probably just have to drop it in there from like a foot away.

Okay, how can someone not know what disc golf is? Especially someone who frequents a park where disc golf is played!? The guy seemed pretty taken aback, incredulous even. Just the idea of disc golf seemed enough to throw him for a loop. But whatever, that guy sucks. The course, however, did not suck. I can say that I was glad to play it.

Shady Oaks, however, made me want to gouge my eyes out. A lot of people like this course and I have a hard time understanding that. Is it just because it is 18 holes? There isn't anything particularly interesting about it, unless you find poor layouts and old, scary baskets interesting.

I first arrive at this course and try to park in the west-most parking lot. The one between the road and park district building with about 10 spots. They were all full, but I did notice the sign saying "disc golf course." At least I know where the first hole will be. I park in the rear of the building and back track up to the sign, only to discover that the first hole was closer to where I parked. Brilliant.

The first few holes played average enough. The signs provided little by way of assistance, and they were inconsistent enough. Some holes had different signs from others, with the older looking signs being the least helpful. They just nudge you in the direction of the hole in most cases. I believe it was the fourth hole where I just had NO clue where the basket was. There was a basket out in the open and one in the woods. I played toward the wrong basket and then quit that hole. We did not see eye to eye.

The obstacles on this course suck. Not because they're not tough, but because they are unnecessary and stupid. There is tall grass...why in the hell do you need tall grass!? It provides a challenge, but a bad challenge. You know, like how there are white people and "the wrong kind" of white people (further explained in posts here). There is also some awful, marshy, thick nonsense on holes eight and nine where I almost lost my Leopard on both holes. Just gut that stuff and put up some normal people trees! The one bright spot: there is a creek running through some of the holes, but it is shallow and has good visibility. And even then, that's a stretch...a good water hazard is oxymoronic. The course is challenging, but in a way where too many shots have potential to lose discs. Also, there are too many nearby houses.

The course does not hold water well and much of the ground was nasty. The baskets all looked about 30 years old and were very unreliable to throw into. Not a lot of elevation, but that shouldn't be a surprise. There was fair vairety here, but nothing too special. It's just a really plan, old-looking 18 hole course that has some nonsensical ideas by way of challenge. A 750' hole? Yeah, that's nonsense. This course was just poorly designed. Does not flow well, does not play well, and a decent amount of garbage. Boooo!

Slight redemption comes in the form of a nearby 7-Eleven. I think there is one just south on Barlett Road. That sounds right to me. They have disc golf supplies...they even had an Innova starter bag at this location, which I haven't seen at a 7-Eleven before. The discs are on the counter and easy to browse, so thumbs up. And at last check, this was home to the HAWAIIAN PUNCH SLURPEE. That was awesome, when I wasn't spilling it all over the interior of my egg-like car. It also made it look like I was wearing lipstick. I wasn't, though...really.

In all, a fun day of disc golf. It also included a much-regretted trip to Roselle, but that will come later. Here are my scores.

Sunny Hill
Variety: 2
Terrain: 2
Flow: 4
Cleanliness: 4
Overall Score: 3

Shady Oaks
Variety: 3
Terrain: 2
Flow: 2
Cleanliness: 2
Overall Score: 2.25

A course doesn't have to be incredible to impress me, just do some of the little things right. Keep a course clean, make it easy to follow, have decent signage and baskets. Sunny Hill does that, and Shady Oaks doesn't. I recommend you play both and make your own opinions. Sunny Hill may be too much of a pitch and putt for some people, while others may enjoy their rounds at Shady Oaks. I say thumbs up for Sunny Hill and pure indifference to Shady Oaks.

Look What We Found - Brown Deer

It's...a funky little doll!! This was on a picnic table at Brown Deer disc golf course in Milwaukee and I have no idea this would be at a disc golf course. I mean, it's awesome and everything - but how did it get here? I would guess that a child was abducted and left this behind as a clue, but as far as I know, abductors avoid disc golf courses. Also, Brown Deer is too difficult for children. I imagine it fell from an airplane and landed perfectly on this table for the world of disc golf to see.

Sherwood Oaks - Bloomington, IN

If you’re in Bloomington Indiana and in the mood for a “Pitch & Putt” course, give Sherwood Oaks a shot.

The bright side of this course is that it was very clean and landscaped nicely. It also has concrete tees for each of its nine holes. Built on church-grounds, I feel like the influence of the Divine had a positive impact on my game.

I played the course with three others that were relatively new to the sport. For my friends, this was a great place to go outside and have some fun on a perfect day.

Though I did enjoy myself, there was not much in the way of creativity for course design. Most holes are wide open and have slight elevation changes. The flow of the course was relatively easy to follow, but there were few physical markers that separate holes. This sometimes made me think twice as to what basket I was throwing to.

Overall, I think it’s great that a church decided to add a disc golf course to their grounds. I think they made a good use of the land they had available, but it’s important to remember that the primary purpose for the grounds is for a church and not a disc golf course. Also, the course has Indiana geography going against it. Yup, Indiana.

Variety: 2

Terrain: 2

Flow: 3

Cleanliness: 4

Overall: 3

Dretzka Park - Milwaukee, WI

Dretzka Park - what is there to say about such a place? Lots of things, that's what.

Dretzka is somewhere in Milwaukee - I'm not sure where, I kinda wasn't paying attention on the drive to the park. I know where it isn't, though - it isn't near a 7-Eleven. When you're playing 27 holes of disc golf and you're about to die of Slurpeelessness, wouldn't a 7-Eleven be the best place to go to? Well don't look for one here, because guess what? You won't find one.

That aside, Dretzka is a very fun course. And as evidenced in the picture above, it is a pretty course where dudes can bring their dogs. It is also an unforgiving course that, once played, you will have nightmares about for the immediate future. This is 27 holes that will definitely leave you feeling conflicted, but ultimately, the best kind of conflicted.

Parking is certainly ample, as there are other activities nearby. Please refrain from taunting anyone you see carrying a golfbag, as they are people just like us. I have to say, some of them made me feel uncomfortable. They just had this...look, I don't know. And it was collective, all of the golfers had this look. On second thought, taunt them, but do it subtly so they don't know about it and so you don't feel bad about it.

The first tee definitely is not difficult to find, and what a pleasant surprise to see two concrete tees for each hole. It certainly adds a lot to the course - you don't often see the two concrete tees. Oh, one other thing you don't see is the 75 different basket locations for each hole. Actually, it's like three or four basket locations per hole, but it can still be a bit confusing. Thankfully, we have archaic wooden tee markers with hole information carved into them. We're also reminded not to litter (very important) and provided with fantastic sponsorship.

Thanks, Mike Cox and family! Your continued support is sincerely appreciated. At first, you might confuse the tee markers with the lyrics for Nightman, but you'll get used to it. From here, it's a matter of figuring out which basket location is in use - a bit of work, but not too hard to do.

The course itself is a ton of fun. The wooded holes are very difficult and plentiful, but thanfully, there certainly isn't any shortage in more open holes. Trees are used extremely well as obstacles, and the length isn't too much of a killer. It isn't really needed, as the course is quite challenging. Definitely a lot of variety here.Their isn't a great deal by way of elevation changes, but there's enough that would make it noticeable.

The flow isn't too bad, but some of the holes kinda run together. Going from five to six was a bit of a challenge. We almost went from five to sixteen - the gentlemen behind us with beer had a significantly harder time then us. Maybe it was the beer? Regardless, I'm not here to speculate. We didn't have too hard of a time going from hole to hole, so I was satisfied with the flow. I also didn't notice any issues with the garbage on the course. Certainly a lot of dudes out drinking, and I'm sure there were some bottles and cans here or there, but I think the "please don't litter" signs were deterrent enough.

Bottom line - this is a pretty difficult, yet, extremely fun course. The photos don't do justice to how pretty this course is...it's extremely picturesque. Lots of variety and lots of people as well - quite the busy course, which is understandable. 27 holes is more than enough to play, and you'll likely want to play another 27 when you are done. Make sure to bring plenty of hydration, maybe even a tent and sleeping bag. The course is a trek, and a fantastic one at that. Scores time!!

Variety: 4
Terrain: 4
Flow: 4
Cleanliness: 5
Overall Score: 4.25

A great course - Dretzka Park is highly recommended by The Worm Burners.

My Life in a Moment -or- Relativity as it Applies to Disc Golf

While I almost never leave the disc golf course without something to talk about, a while ago something happened in two seconds that changed my perspective on the sport as well as my perspective on life.

Turning a wooded corner, thinking of nothing but the long hyzer I had to throw to get birdie chance on hole three, I came upon something that stopped me dead in my tracks. Even though I rounded the trees at my normal brisk pace, she didn’t startle when I stepped right in front of her. She had been standing there by herself for reasons unkown, surrounded by the falling leaves of burnt orange and brown. Her long hair framed her smile, her dark eyes peacefully looking into mine as if she already knew the questions and the answers. The trees, knowing full well their obligation to such events, showered us with colored leaves.

Dear reader, I adjure you, a man does well to not forfeit much time courting somebody he knows to be so complementary to his own nature. We dated just long enough for our parents to stop saying, at least in public, that we were rushing into things. The engagement was likewise as short as we felt necessary. The church buzzed with excitement. It was just a bit too small, and a few latecomers from my family stood in the back to catch the last glimpses of our single lives. I would find out after the ceremony that when we kneeled together, the assembled crowd could read the words “love her” written in white marker on the bottom of my shoes, with an arrow pointing to my bride. Months later, while playing disc golf with my best man and a few other members of the wedding party, I found out it was actually the second thing he wrote on my black wingtips, having originally been panged by the guilt of debasing something so divinely guided. He had used acetone to remove his original words: help me.

On our honeymoon we rode on the Trans-Siberian railroad, taking a side trip into Mongolia. The clarity with which I saw the distant mountains through the front door of the yurt was enough to leave me spell-bound, standing transfixed on the horizon as the morning chill blew in off the steppe, making her unconsciously grab the comforter and roll over.

We made good habit of traveling to off-beat places. Anywhere remote or overlooked became a destination spot. Our friends joked we spent more time in our two person, 1979 North Face tent than we did in the queen-sized bed I had bought myself as a birthday present during my bachelor days. She was never more radiant than in the fall, her brown hair falling disheveled over her soft shoulders. She knew I would be staring at her every time I had the chance. Our eyes locked, but grew hesitant. Leaves skittishly let go of their branches and rushed to the ground.

Something in the woods rustled and the movement forced me to leave the gaze of the beauty my eyes had grown accustomed to for the last two seconds. As if appearing out of thin air, her boyfriend appeared out of the woods with the satisfaction of having just found a lost disc. Looking back I smiled, though a different smile, and said hi. Stepping up to the tee pad, I pulled my Rogue out of my bag, and ripped a colossal forehand drive. It flew directly into the ground, 45 feet in front of me. I looked over my shoulder for the chance to see her one more time, only to find she had been watching my throw.

“Well, looks like I killed some poor innocent worm on that one” I said, not nearly as disappointed in my drive as I was in losing my wife of two seconds. I headed down the fairway debating in my mind whether I should use a mid-range or a fairway driver for the next shot.

I bogied.

Mission Statement

Worm Burners is a disc golf blog for the masses. We are not here to make you better at disc golf or to provide you with the skills to be great at disc golf: we admittedly lack those skills ourselves. Rather, we three dudes are here to promote the playing of disc golf by all. Disc golf is quite possibly the greatest use of free space and plastic that one could ever create, and it's our goal to help you to understand it.

Where to begin? Well, disc golf is quite inexpensive. At the very least, you need a single disc, which you could find for $7 at a sporting goods store or 7-Eleven. Most courses are free to play, meaning that the initial investment in a disc or discs is all you need (as long as you don't lose a disc in the woods or a river). Disc golf is a good way to exercise. It's like taking a good walk, while occasionally taking a break to throw a 150 gram piece of plastic. You can work up a pretty decent sweat playing disc golf, so it's certainly a viable method of exercise. Most importantly, disc golf is fun, and that is why more people need to play this game.

Before I proceed, I must clarify that disc golf is not good for one thing: meeting women. The only time you will see a woman playing at your local course is if she is with a male friend or a husband/boyfriend. Spotting a solo-woman at a disc golf course is the equivalent of seeing a sasquatch riding a unicorn toward a leprechaun's pot of gold. It is the rarest of rare occurrences on the disc golf course. The fine folks here at Worm Burners will be ever vigilant in trying to spot the lone disc golf female.

In the case that you've come here with a thorough understanding of disc golf, do not be worried. This blog will certainly feature enough to keep you interested. We plan on posting a number of features to both entertain and amuse both beginners and long time players. Interviews with dudes? They will be here. Interactive features that encourage reader interaction? You bet. Synopses of rounds at our local courses? YES! There will be something for all disc golf players to enjoy.

If you have come here hoping to improve your game and to become a world-class disc golf player, then prepare to be disappointed. Even so, we encourage you to stay and take a look around, as we're sure you will all find something to your liking. We plan on providing frequent, varying posts to keep all readers completely satisfied. We welcome your feedback, as we strive to truly represent disc golf for the masses. Worm Burners will become the premier destination for promoting the enjoyment of disc golf.